This is not what I was expecting…(a blog for parents)

When you are planning to be a parent, regardless of the circumstances, there can be a lot of expectations that go through your mind. These expectations can be exciting, scary, or anywhere in between, however, it is rare that a caregiver expects their child’s brain to function in a way they were thinking. It can start small, eye contact seems to be limited, interaction is different than you expected and for a time you think things will change and for some they do. However, what happens when those small quirks start to become consistent patterns and even start to interfere with expected development and interactions with others?

Many of the parents I have worked with are overwhelmed and confused about how to interact with their child and the poem below has summed up many caregiver’s experiences.

https://www.emilyperlkingsley.com/welcome-to-holland

I really enjoy this poem because it does not put Holland in a negative light, it is simply different. It also has the message that says “it is okay to be sad.’ So I will say it again parents/caregivers, IT IS OKAY TO BE SAD, if this wasn’t what you were expecting when you pictured having kids. Much of the work parents of neurodivergent children go through is grief work because this is not what they were expecting. It is okay to grieve that things may not have turned out they way you were wanting. Then, as the poem suggest, we have a chance to write your own guide book.

That is where this work gets exciting to me, I have had the honor of taking families from “my kid can’t talk to me” (literally) to “I am finally playing with my kid!” It simply looks different, than expected. Much of the work I do with parents is discussing your child’s functioning, observing how your child engages in play, then learning to “speak” their language of play. As much as I enjoy working with children, the reality is, caregivers/parents are those who are responsible the rest of the time and I want to empower YOU to support your child.